By The Word Of Our Testimony
Chapter 12 – By the Word of Our Testimony
“God wants His glory in your victories and in your suffering.”
-Jackie Hill Perry
Psalm 107:20 says that, “He sent out His word and healed them and delivered them from destruction.” The Lord used His words to heal then, and He will still use His words through our sharing to heal. Psalm 107:21-21 continues by saying, “Let them thank the Lord for His steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving, and tell of his deeds in songs of joy!” There is power in sharing our stories, and it honors the Lord and brings Him glory.
We have seen Moses and the Israelites escape through the Red Sea, witnessed the miracle of the manna, experienced water from the rock in times of drought, and celebrated victory in their first battle as they defeated the Amalekites by the time we come to Exodus 18. Moses recounts all of this to his father-in-law, Jethro, who has come to visit him, and Jethro rejoices over all of the good things the Lord has done for the Israelites. Even further, because of Moses’ testimony, Jethro declares in Exodus 18:11, “Now I know that the Lord is greater than all the gods.”
This will not be the only time in the Israelites’ wilderness journey that God uses the telling of His works to reveal Himself to those that hear. He also frequently tells the Israelites that they are to tell their children and their children’s children about all He had done. God’s desire is for us to share His work in our lives for the good of others and for the glory of God alone.
We see the opposite take place in Deuteronomy when twelve of the men went to scout out land, land that the Lord had already promised them, and they came back with a disheartening report that the people were too big to fight. God had already promised the Israelites this land, they just had to trust Him and go in and take it. But fear got in their way, and a bit of amnesia. They forgot what the Lord had already done for them, and this lack of remembering led them to doubt if the Lord would come through for them this time. When those scary reports were shared, the crowd listened and they responded in fear as well. Our words are powerful and our testimonies can be used to build up those around us or tear them down.
The most important words we can speak are the ones pointing others to God, so the opposite would be true as well, meaning that the most dangerous words we can speak would be the ones that turn others away from God. Deuteronomy 1:28 says that their words made their brothers lose heart. Our words have so much power. We can build faith in others, but we can also cause them to stumble. May our words lift up, build, and encourage others.
God has intentionally given us our stories to share. These stories are a testimony to those around us. Our moments of suffering are opportunities to point others to the grace of Christ. They will see the tough things that God brought us through and their faith will increase as they are encouraged that God will see them through their tough days, too. But in order for people to see the faithfulness of God in our lives, we have to invite them in to it with us.
It can seem unfathomable to invite someone in during the midst of our suffering. It would seem easier to wait it out, see how the Lord is going to “pull through” for us, and then share. “Hey! Look what awesome things God did in my life!!” But we aren’t just sharing when the victory looks like crossing the finish line first in the race. We aren’t just sharing when we pray for the baby and immediately get pregnant, or pray for healing and immediately find scans with NED – no evidence of disease.
In Psalm 73:26-27, we see that we can still tell our stories in the midst of suffering. As we are still in the midst of our wilderness journey, we can share of God’s goodness. Sharing our stories while our feet are still firmly planted in the dry and barren desert remind those that are watching and listening that God is good IN the storm, not just after it’s calmed. We read, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. For behold, those who are far from you shall perish; you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you. But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.”
If God’s desire is for us to share what He has done for us and in us, we can guarantee that the enemy does NOT want us to share our testimonies of God’s faithfulness in our lives. He will work to intimidate us to keep these stories to ourselves, and he will isolate us. He will work to influence our memories so that we forget all that God has done. He will distort the truth so that we begin to second guess what we know God has actually done for us. The enemy will do whatever he can to keep us from sharing because he knows what a powerful tool it is in building faith in the Lord, both in us and in others.
From the moment we are conceived, our lives have purpose, and every single moment can be used to bring glory and honor to God. That is our purpose. God doesn’t take us on these incredible journeys through the wilderness and provide for our every need so that we can keep it to ourselves. In the unique ways God created us and with the unique stories He’s given us, we have something to share that no one else can, and He wants us to share those stories that He has given us.
In fact, our stories are not our own, as they belong to Him, and He’s entrusted them to us to share them with those around us. Psalm 78:5 tells us that God establishes our testimonies and commands us to tell them to others, and verse 7 tells us why, “so that they (those who hear) should put their hope in God and not forget the works of God.” We share so that those who hear will draw near to Him. He has people waiting to hear our testimonies to help with their healing and their breakthrough, which will enable them to share their own testimony with those around them. It’s truly His story, and it’s all for His glory.
We see in Psalm 78:11 that they forgot all his mighty works and what resulted was their rebellion and sin. Their fathers saw with their own eyes all the works the Lord had done, and it was the job of the parents to pass those stories on to their children. Remember, the Lord had commanded them to pass it on.
It wasn’t because God wanted them to sit around a campfire and have some feel-good family time. It was warfare against the enemy to remember and recall all that the Lord had done for them through their journey in the wilderness. Remembering all He had already done would strengthen them to know He would continue to be faithful to them. When recall all of the times God has kept His promises and carried us through, we can trust and know He will continue to do so.
Have you ever thought about the fact that the things we share in our stories can be used by God to change someone’s ETERNITY? That’s big!! We share how God’s story has impacted ours, and THAT is our testimony.
One thing I have learned through our own journey is that as parents, we need to let our children into their own stories. Life isn’t happening TO them or just around them. If God gives us all purpose, and everyday can be used for His glory, then we need to teach our children how to see and share that in their own lives as well, right from the very beginning.
For example, if we are praying for God to work in our children’s lives, and He answers those prayers, we can praise Him and our own faith is strengthened. But when we bring our children into those prayers as well, they get to see, feel, and experience God at work in their own lives, and this will build a foundation for their faith and trust in God that can’t be washed out by the waves that will come. It will give them a solid foundation for the days that they walk through the wilderness on a solo journey. It will also enable them to begin to put their voice to their own story and share it for God’s glory.
Testimony – Even in My Wilderness…
It feels a little strange to end this book with what truly started it, but it also feels like this is exactly the right place to share this part of our story. It was this piece that introduced me to so much that has been included in this book, including the importance of sharing our stories and even more about the glory of God.
Our oldest was a very, very prayed for little girl. As I mentioned previously, we struggled with infertility for 2 years and loved getting to celebrate with everyone that had prayed over us when God chose to bless us with a daughter. Other than hyperemesis during my pregnancy (which is no small thing), I didn’t really face complications or any scary moments. Her labor and delivery were a little more extended than my liking, and she was definitely born on the larger size, shocking everyone in the room, but her first moments of life were full of beauty and health and normalcy aside from some blood sugar issues due to her size.
I did have some trouble with feeding for her, some on my end and a lot on her end. She also seemed to be extremely uncomfortable if we tried to hold her closely, more often than not. We would learn a little later in life that she was likely already battling some of her health issues that caused pain and discomfort in her little body, right from the beginning.
Bryleigh’s first year of life was a dream! We soaked in all the memories and just enjoyed watching our girl grow. She was on track with milestones, loved to sleep, and always ate like a champ. But at 15 months, during her wellness exam, her doctor noticed that she had been slowly falling off her growth curve. It wasn’t too alarming, just something to watch. And then at 18 months, it seemed like the bottom fell out, and life has honestly never been the same.
I vividly remember the summer of 2015. Bryleigh had fully transitioned to solid foods with ease (something we no longer take for granted because of our boys’ experiences), and we were adding new things all the time. She was doing great, but her GI system began to really struggle, and she was having so much trouble with digesting her food.
At a family wedding, she sweetly asked LOTS of family for bites of their cake. I’m not sure how much she ended up having, but it seemed to set things off in her little system that her body just wasn’t able to control. That night she threw up all in her bed and the days that followed looked the same as she would get sick each time she tried to eat. She just wasn’t herself at all.
By July 4th weekend, a little over one week later, it was starting to get scary and we had to get her in with our pediatrician. She began running a fairly high fever that lasted for weeks and the nightmarish way her GI system was responding was an all day, constant kind of thing. I can remember trying to keep count of diaper changes, and many days I would have to stop at 20 because I just couldn’t handle it anymore. Considering she had already begun to fall off her growth chart, any weight loss was alarming.
In the days that followed, we would open AND close the doctor’s office, give shots to treat things that were POSSIBLY wrong, just in case, things that were scary and alarming. We began testing for bacteria and viruses and autoimmune diseases, and there was so much blood work, samples, and more. There were things that they were preparing us for that would require immediate hospital stays (like e. coli), and to say we were terrified would be an understatement. We prayed so many times, “Not this, Lord. Please not this.” Our army that had prayed for her life to begin was now praying for answers and healing over her body with urgency.
The days turned to weeks, answers from tests (like abnormal blood panels and sugar in samples where there shouldn’t be sugar) led to more questions, and every “no” meant testing for other things. Then the weeks turned to months and the doctor visits moved from our local pediatrician to specialists at Cooks with more blood work, more samples, x-rays, and scans. All the while, our girl was struggling almost every single moment of the day. She was in so much pain, and her precious little body wasn’t processing anything the way that it should have. She was eliminating things in almost whole pieces, making it obvious that her body wasn’t processing the nutrients we so desperately needed her to get.
There were definitely some scary things that were thrown around during our doctor appointments, but I think the scariest would have to be the period of time when multiple doctors were thinking it could be Cystic Fibrosis. (Shout out to nurse Heidi for all the love and support you provided for us during all of our days at Cooks, but especially that day of the CF sweat test!) I had already been clinging to the Lord, spending time in the Word, journaling my prayers, and worshipping, but those days took my faith and dependency on the Lord to a new level. I was reading books and trying to grow in every area, and through that, I began reading “The Battle Plan of Prayer” by Stephen and Alex Kendrick, after watching War Room.
I learned a new-to-me concept through that book, that God was intersecting with things I was reading in the bible at the same time, and I just so clearly heard Him tell me, “Carrie. The story you are living is My story and it is for My glory.” “The Battle Plan of Prayer” teaches the reader to pray for what brings God the most glory, not what brings us the most comfort or pleasure. And this single concept changed my life the moment I read it. The first prayer I ever prayed in line with that concept was, “Whatever brings you the most glory, God,” while praying about Bryleigh possibly having Cystic Fibrosis or not. Talk about just diving in!!
At the same time through my daily Bible reading, God was showing me that I am a part of the story He began writing all the way back from the beginning of time. All of our own, individual stories are a part of His greater, bigger story: HIS story. So, as we pray for what brings God the most glory in our part of His story, it’s when we SHARE those stories that the Lord is able to be glorified in and through us. As we share those stories with others, their faith in the Lord will grow as well.
While we praise the Lord that Bryleigh’s Cystic Fibrosis sweat test came back negative, as did so many other tests, we went on a 3-year journey searching for answers while our girl suffered immensely, not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. It shaped who she is as a person and affects so many areas of her life. We also praise the Lord for the answers that we have received and the life that she lives now thanks to those answers.
There was an endless number of appointments, tests, prescriptions, and imaging during those days, so our family was encouraged to do a t-shirt campaign to raise money to offset some of the cost, and we were blown away by the support of so many around us. (I’m actually wearing one of the sweatshirts as I work through this chapter, and it is such a sweet reminder of God’s goodness in our lives.) We had claimed Deuteronomy 31:8 over Bryleigh and prayed relentlessly for the Lord to make Bryleigh brave during those days, because with each new thing she was faced with, her anxiety was rising and doctor appointments were agonizing for her.
The shirt included her verse, “The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” It also included what became our family’s tag line: BE BRAVE in big, bold letters, and had the hashtag we have used to share her journey and beyond: #HisStoryHisGlory. The shirts became a “Testimony Talker,” and as we (and others wore them), people would ask about them, and then we would be able to give God the glory for all He was doing in each of our lives. The shirts have been worn in NICU units and during cancer treatments, they’ve been worn through adoption journeys and sleepless nights by new parents, and they’ve even been worn at the Red Sea!
I will never forget the day I was wearing the shirt for an appointment in Fort Worth that I had for myself. As I left the office that day, I rode the elevator back up to the parking garage, and an older gentleman softly touched his wife’s arm and said in a whisper, “Honey, look at her shirt.” With tears streaming down his face, he looked at me and said, “That’s for us. That message is for us. She was just diagnosed with breast cancer. Your shirt is a reminder that He’s with us.” I was BLOWN AWAY by how God would use a simple t-shirt to fill people with peace in such hard places, build their faith, and serve as a reminder to share what He was doing.
Bryleigh’s story is filled with people who have loved on us, poured into us, provided for us, and been earthly displays of the Father’s love for us. Her story alone could be used in every chapter of this book to share and show all that the Lord has taught me through that part of a very desolate wilderness journey. One of those people was a sweet, dear family friend that was heartbroken with us to watch all that Bryleigh was having to endure, and as a last effort, she asked us to come visit with the doctor that she worked for. We had no idea that the simple “Yes” we gave her would change everything!
From June of 2015 to May of 2017, our girl endured more than any little child should ever have to, but in the spring of 2017, after visiting with the new doctor, we began to see and understand what was going on in her body. In one appointment, we had more understanding of what was going on than the two years prior combined, and that was without a single needle or image taken. There were still more tests to run, but these seemed to give us more answers, until we finally landed on the right one and we received news that our little girl was allergic to TEN things that all made up major parts of her diet, things we ate on a regular basis… One of them being cane sugar. So, to say it changed our entire lives would be a massive understatement.
The weeks and months that followed were still extremely difficult (but we had answers!!), especially the days where her little body was detoxing from things that had been making her so sick for so long. They’re things that can’t be written in books or talked about from stages. They’re things that we hold close for her protection out of love and respect for her own story. But she began to lose even more weight because her diet was so restricted and so much of what we were finding for her to eat was honestly just gross. From the beginning, I tried to match her diet, just because I felt so guilty, and I lost at least 10 pounds in a matter of weeks.
We learned from her new doctor that her body had so much trouble processing and digesting what she was eating that it began to change the shape and size of some of her internal organs. Her spine had begun to curve (not the S-scoliosis, but backwards C-curve from what it should have been) and she was diagnosed with mega-colon. (At the point of writing this, we are 5 years in and the mega-colon is still an issue and something that we are actively working to address.) Also due to her gut not working the way it needs to for so long, she has been struggling with severe migraines for the last 3 years, so we added a neurologist, and eventually a sleep doctor, to her case as well. In some of Bryleigh’s testing, we learned that she has a partial deletion on her chromosome 19p, so much of what we see could be due to that, but seeing as it is so rare, there are no medical findings (currently) related to what we have seen, nor do we know how it will affect her as she continues to grow and develop.
Her suffering is so different these days. It’s in a different part of her body, it doesn’t happen (thankfully) on a daily basis any longer, but it seems to be more intense, and she’s older and more aware, plus she will also remember these days in more detail than the early ones, although I won’t forget them as long as I live. In the middle of the migraines and being violently sick to her stomach, she will look at me and beg me to make it stop. She will question why God made her this way. She will ask why she has to go through this and why she can’t just be “normal.” It can be so heartbreaking to watch her go through all of the pain and suffering she has and to hear her ask these things.
It is through this part of her story that I have been able to teach her so much about who God is, how He cares for her and loves her so deeply, how He provides for her, and how He created her intentionally ON purpose, WITH purpose, and FOR a purpose. I help her to see all of these parts that I have shared with you throughout this book, reminding her that He is with her, providing for her. I show her how to find things to be thankful for, things to celebrate even if that looks different than we’d like. I help her remember all that He’s done so that her faith will grow in the Lord and so that she can share her own story with others along the way. As I’m teaching her, God is teaching and reminding me of these very same things.
God has called us to share about all He has done in our lives with the world around us, and there is reason for that. The stories we share of God’s faithfulness in our lives builds the faith of others while also reinforcing our own faith. The more we share our stories, the easier and more natural that process will become and the quicker we will be able to see God at work, even in the most ordinary of days and ways.
My prayer is that as you have read through Even in the Wilderness, you have seen the numerous ways God has been at work in your own life, filling you with purpose, providing for you along the way, and giving you His presence whether you are on your journey through the wilderness or you’ve made it to a promised land. I pray that you see the beautiful and unique story God has given to you, not to hold close and keep private, but to share so that you can give glory to the greatest Author of all time.
Reflections For Your Wilderness
Remember it: “Let the redeemed of the Lord say so.” Psalm 107:2
Think on it: How is God being faithful in your life at the moment, and how has God been faithful to you in the past? Who is God nudging you to share your story with today? What gifts has God given to you that you can use to share your story with others?
Act on it: Take out a journal, fresh sheet of paper, a computer, or even the Notes app on your phone, and write about the ways you have seen God at work in your life. Pray that God would bring you 1 person to share your story with this week.
Playlist Song: Egypt, Bethel Music
