Still Faithful
A few days ago, I was having a little chat sesh with Ms GPT. As an aspiring author, I kind of despise this tool in the fact that people can turn out a book overnight with words that are barely their own after deciding on a whim, when I’ve poured hours upon hours into a book that I pray gets to see the light of day while simultaneously not draining our life savings. But I fully believe in using it to bring out our best in the creativity and knowledge God has already given us, and that’s how I was using it that day.
You see, each year since 2013 (almost, but we’ll get there), the Lord has put a word on my heart as a focus for the year ahead. Ive shared about this in other blogs that you can read HERE. As I did a little brain dump of a bunch of things God had put on my heart, I asked if there was anything to draw from what I had shared, wondering if there were any more goals or supporting goals I could add to what I already had…but what I got back was so much more. And God has continued to use that to show me SO MUCH of what He had for me and what He has for me.
So when I said “each year,” I actually meant all of them but one. And that was last year. I didn’t have a big blog post, or even a little micro blog shared to my instagram feed. Just a quiet whisper of a word from the Lord that I had no idea what it meant. STILL. I knew it was mine to hold onto and not one to share, but I had no idea what it truly meant. I also thought how funny it was because I knew the year ahead would be anything but still.
As I came across the note in my phone that holds all my words and their verses, I saw that word, STILL, for the first time since I put it there at the beginning of last year. I honestly hadn’t thought about it again until today. And it all came flooding in. God had given me the word STILL in a year where I would take on more roles and responsibilities than I ever should have held. He gave me that word knowing that May 29 would launch a period in my life that was anything but STILL and I would log more miles than I’ve probably logged in several years combined. My body became very un-still, in a very positive and productive way.
But as I read that word on that note, I heard so clearly from the Lord. “I gave you still knowing it would be a very un-still year, knowing you would take on so much that your heart desires but might not always be my best for you. I gave you STILL knowing that when you went to add FAITHFUL one year later, you would see it all so clearly - that I allowed too much so that as you walk in to the next year (and the years to come), you would never carry such a heavy load again.”
Brad and I just spent the 2025 year very much walking in God’s goodness and faithfulness, but very much walking in seasons that he allowed us OUR hearts desires to see what we actually do not want. As I type this, it brings to mind that story of the Israelites in the wilderness as they begged God for meat when He’d already given them manna. So he filled them so full of the meat that it began to come out of their nostrils. (GROSS! Share that story with your 9 year old boys! They’ll love it!!) It was a season that almost broke us both. There were so many nights Brad would go to sleep and I would wonder how he was going to get up in the morning and keep going. God carried us through, as only He could. But he taught us SO much through it. We got to experience what we DON’T want so that we can be content with what HE has for us. I can promise you it’s so much better.
Over the last year, because of all I said yes to, I didn’t have time (or energy or words) to write. If you asked me what I feel called to do in this life, outside of being a wife and a mom, I would immediately tell you that I am called to write. But my life didn’t reflect that over the last year. Looking back, as I stared down at that note and that word, STILL, I felt like God showed me - He had stilled my words because of how I had chosen to fill my time and spend my energy. It was a year that felt silent at times when all I desperately wanted to do was write. (My goal had been to finish my book by 40.)
The things filling my time are all good things, things I’m good at and passionate about, but they’re not the things God has called me to fill my time with.
Even STILL, He is FAITHFUL. I can look back on the last year and see God’s faithfulness in every moment. It reminds me so much of God providing clothing for Adam and Eve after they had sinned. They deserved nothing and yet, He gave them exactly what they needed, providing for them and caring for them. He had to be so disappointed in me on some of these days, waiting for me to come back to Him and surrender all of this to Him, but even in those moments, He never left me and He never stopped providing for me.
These are some of the first words that have come in a year’s time, and they have flowed out to the point that I almost couldn’t type fast enough or keep up with where my thoughts were going. I am so grateful for that. I pray that the year ahead is full of pockets of writing, hours of writing, even days of writing. I pray this is the year I submit a completed manuscript and share those words with the world. And I pray more than anything that I am FAITHFUL with every moment that God gives me.
I’ll share more on my word for 2026, but I had to pause for a minute and reflect on a word God gave me and how it impacted me even though I went 360-something days without even thinking about it.
