He Still Splits Seas

Yesterday was truly a sea-splitting day in the Ham Fam’s house and we are walking through on dry ground. Maybe it was a little more of the Jordan River style of a split, because we certainly had to put our toes in first, but after almost two months of heavy, we feel the burdens being lifted and we are walking forward.

On January 8, after the holiday rush had calmed and the day our kids went back in school (God’s blessing!), Brad was given an “end date” with his job of 2/19. To say this was devastating was an understatement. He’s been with the company for 13 years and loves his job and his  coworkers. This began a period full of unknowns, difficult conversations, and a whole lot of tears. We discussed selling our home, Brad was applying and interviewing for jobs outside of our zip code and even our state lines (😬🫣). But we continued to trust the Lord and prayed for His will in our lives. I’ll make a longer story a little shorter and say that the 2/19 end date first got bumped to 3/31, and yesterday it was REMOVED completely, not only for him but his buddies too! The dust hasn’t settled yet, and we don’t know exactly how the days ahead will look, but after being at a standstill since January 8th, we are confidently moving forward, looking back and seeing God’s hand in every single moment.

We’ll grab a stone from the middle of these waters and remember these days and God’s faithfulness to carry us through forever.

Last week, we absolutely celebrated on 2/19, the day Brad would have been unemployed, but in the middle of celebrating that, we had a whole host of new questions. My health was “having a moment,” as I was experiencing blurry vision in addition to my migraines and some other symptoms that prompted me to get back in with my eye doctor (an immediate opening 🙌🏼) and my neurologist (an opening 2 days later…unheard of!). Over the last week, I have had two optometrist appointments (all clear - just inflammation and treated with drops), a neurology appointment, and yesterday I met with a brand new (to me) headache specialist!

The findings at my neurology appointment last week were alarming, and frustrating seeing as they came from a test taken in Sept of ‘22!! (He had reviewed the report and likely not the actual images. 🤷🏻‍♀️) There appeared to be “bilateral stenosis of the venous sinus” that had been previously missed. (Meaning the veins at the back of my head have narrowed and blood isn’t flowing as it should.) He began talking lumbar puncture and stents and brain surgery, and as you can imagine, we were incredibly overwhelmed. He referred me out to a headache specialist because their in-practice ones weren’t seeing new patients for 2 to 3 years 🫣 The referral…got me in less than one week later.

For the next week, I squashed every bit of fear Satan tried to throw my way and kept repeating to myself (and out loud to anyone who would listen) that I fully trusted the Lord and His plan in this. (But like, if the cup of the lumbar puncture could pass from me… I wasn’t gonna be mad!)

I had that appointment yesterday. He was able to pull up every image neurology has had me do since 2021, and he was confident in saying that what I am experiencing IS migraine (neurology had said they weren’t) and not another form of headaches (like IIH where the lumbar puncture would be needed and surgery following). He said there was possibility of stenosis in some of the areas seen, but it did not alarm him the way it did the neurologist by looking at the complete set of imaging. I left the office feeling more confident in a doctor than I have in a while, with a plan in place, and more options beyond those to continue to help get these migraines under control.

We’ll grab another stone in the midst of this sea-turned-dry land to mark these days where God carried us in our fear and reminded us repeatedly He had good plans for me.

If you’ve seen me over the last few years, it’s been in pain. If I’ve done a wedding, it’s been in pain. I’ve had migraines on every vacation we’ve taken, date nights, and events at the kids school. I can mask a lot of it…until I can’t, and then I end up in bed, or worst case - in the er. I’ve done loads of research and made changes, I’ve paid out of pocket for IVs, and I’ve just about maxed out my liver on excedrin migraine. I had truly resolved to “This is my life,” and was learning to just cope with it and keep going as best I could. But for the first time in a long time, I’m hopeful that’s not the case.

Last week our big kids learned a little about what was going on with my health, and as we loaded up to head to school, Bryleigh said, “But God healed pastor Jason’s back! Maybe he can heal your veins too!” He absolutely can, Bryleigh Girl! He’s a healing God and He’s got a plan.

We haven’t perfectly trusted Him. Over the last few months, there have been doubts, lots of tears, and some unhealthy lashing out as we just weren’t sure what was coming. But God has been perfectly faithful, He’s been perfectly good, and He’s been so perfectly gracious to continue to bring us back to Him. No matter our attitudes, He had loved us perfectly.

I was reminded at some point during all of this that the Israelites deliverance was straight into the wilderness. God split the seas, and they walked right through them, but they walked straight into the wilderness where they had to trust and rely on God - but He was WITH THEM, and we know He will be WITH US, too!