Don’t Doubt Your Peace

We have had a whirlwind week in our family. Not that anything was necessarily calm before that, but it just amped up to a whole new level lately.

School started back for all three of our kiddos on August 18, and we’ve been going non-stop getting back into the routine that the school year brings.

On Friday morning, while I was working at a coffee shop and getting some event planning and writing in, Brad called to give me the very exciting news that he’d been promoted! He’s worked so hard for this promotion, and I was so happy to see that his company was acknowledging that. He loves the company he works for, the people he works with, and the clients that he has been able to help along the way. We know this is a major blessing!!

While that was a very exciting moment, it was surrounded by a few things that really overshadowed how big that news really is. Brad had been experiencing some pain in his abdomen a few days prior and it was only increasing and becoming more troublesome. He had gone to Urgent Care the day before where they were able to run basic labs and collect some samples, which showed abnormalities, but nothing conclusive. There were SO many questions and they put in orders to have X-Rays of his chest and a CT done…but of course, those wouldn’t be done until the following Thursday!

It seriously felt like we were on a roller coaster of emotions with the HIGHEST of highs and some decently low lows. Later that afternoon, while I was sitting at home and still trying to catch my breath, I got a call from an unknown number in Arlington, so I decided to answer it. This was while all three kids were still at school, so I typically answer any calls that come in just in case, and sure enough - it was Willie Brown calling.

I feel like my heart stopped in that moment - Was it Bryleigh sick or hurt? Was William in trouble? She quickly let me know that she was calling with information for William Hammons, and I continued to just hold my breath while she quickly let me know that Will would be moving to a new class the following week. (TODAY.)

My mind could hardly process all she was saying or the emotions I was feeling all at once. Will was LOVING kindergarten, his class, and his friends, and I just was so unsure about what this switch would mean for him.

Over the weekend, we spent time loving on him, working to explain what was coming, and balancing the overwhelming joy of Brad’s news with the fears of the unknowns for what was to come - both with Will at school and Brad’s health.

Adding to all that was going on, Sunday was a very special day for our family as Brad was ordained to be a deacon at our church. It’s been such an honor to see Brad walk through the process of being nominated, interviewed, and then ordained Sunday morning with a few of our really good friends while my dad, Brad’s dad, my uncle Larry, and so many men that mentored Brad over the years prayed for him and our family.

We had planned to go to lunch with our family and while we were there it was decided it was time to get things moving on answers (and relief) for Brad, so we made a quick trip back to our house and then up to the ER. I’ll keep the details short here, as the ER trip itself was surprisingly quick, but after a CT scan, Brad was diagnosed with Epiploic appendagitis where basically a piece of his connector to the intestine has twisted. It’s painful, it’s rare, and it’s not quick to treat. Brad is taking some medications to try and get it back to normal, but waiting through the pain is pretty hard. But of everything it could have been, we are so thankful to have specific answers and a plan!

Sunday, after we got home from the ER, I was taking a minute to myself to just catch my breath and I had the thought of how weird it had felt to have peace in so many of these moments over the last few days. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling was the “right” way to feel and I began to doubt myself…and then it hit me: If Satan can’t get you to feel the fear, he’s going to try and get you to doubt your peace. He wants to knock us off track any way that he can, and when one weapon isn’t working, you can be sure he’s going to pull out another one.

In Hebrews 12:14, we read that we are to PURSUE PEACE, and that through that, others will SEE THE LORD. Our faith in the Lord, living in that peace, is a way we are able to share Jesus’ love with others.

Then in Colossians 3:15 we read that we are to let the PEACE of Christ RULE our hearts. If we don’t let peace RULE our hearts and we allow fear to have any a little bit of space, that fear can work its way in and push the peace right out.

In John 14:27 Jesus tells us, “PEACE I leave with you. My PEACE I give to you. I do not give you as the world gives. Don’t let your heart be troubled or fearful.” We have the gift of the Holy Spirit and the peace that He gives to us. We are enabled to CHOOSE to not let our hearts be troubled or fearful, to not let the enemy have that power over us. But as we begin to truly see and feel that peace in our lives in situations that shouldn’t necessarily feel peaceful, it feels a little awkward, a little different, a little unusual, or not-quite-right…but that doesn’t mean it isn’t right!

It makes me think of riding a bike. When you first start riding, it feels super unsteady and shaky. That doesn’t mean you aren’t riding it correctly, you just have to learn to balance on the bike and trust it’s working as it should. Walking out our lives in peace is no different. It might feel a little shaky at first as we get going, unsteady that we aren’t going to crash. Don’t doubt your peace! We can trust in the Lord with our whole hearts, leaning not on our own understanding, but acknowledging Him in all our ways…He’ll keep the bike straight!

Photo by Andreas Haimerl on Unsplash